You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
