Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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