Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
