Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We had to coat check the pizza.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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