normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
