There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
