Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
