Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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