Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
