What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
