Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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