Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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