When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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