the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
