one might say we're banned from that church
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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