If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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