just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
