Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
