i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
