did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
