We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
