Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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