"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
being pregnant is like rehab
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want nice things and good sex
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
