Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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