Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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