I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
