Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
