i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
