So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
