Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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