saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
