We're facebook friends in real life
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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