my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my being single is dangerous.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
