What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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