If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
