It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
