Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize