Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im part way to drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
