Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
