I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
