Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
