you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
