A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
