too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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