Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
