So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
