Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
