I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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