people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
