Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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