I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We need to get me chipped asap
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
