I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize