This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
