I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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