She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
