Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
