And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
