You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dick very happy bro
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I smell like Dick and happiness
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