yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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