I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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