Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
