are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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