im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
