I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize