I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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