Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
